"Mom why amn't I crying??' , just as I asked this I realised that maybe tears weren't my way of expressing things. As the ceremony went on I stood there- watchin.. was very different to see that lady who had been a mentor,mother,friend,partner in crime,confidant,well-wisher.. all through my life, just lie there, on the cold floor,motionless. Little did my pea-sized intellect realize then that that would be the last time- the last time we'd all be seeing her. She had made our lives special and we all were all gonna miss her in our own special ways. Frankly I have never lost someone so close- and i still don't know how to react. guess it happened a bit too fast.
definitely inexplicable. She had more information than wikipedia... and was always there,everytime we needed her. Her advice and help is surely something we should all be thankful for. Though i haven't personally visualised it, I've kinna heard a lot about how she struggled and brought up sooo many people. Frankly i donno them,never seen them, just heard soooo much. Sure takes a big heart to help so many. With 3 kids, a pretty hostile hubby, a struggling household , poor health and that unmatchable will power she achieved everything. A person to look up2. Yes that was our very own - mamima.
She had a smile on her face, on the last day. A lovely smile. A 1 o complete satisfaction. She had frankly struggled a lot in the last few days-but o the whole world came 2 see her,well almost. I still feel those angelic hands feeding me, that soft voice calling me from somewhere... Her stories,songs,beliefs,jokes,ideas.... - all those that she shared with us will always be there, deep inside our hearts.
The house seems emptier and I feel lonelier than ever.We had a bond. A bond that made all differences small. The no. of tv shows,movies, and songs we enjoyed. wow... Even during those last few days she never forgot anything, and that is 1 of the happiest sides of the die. She prayed, chuckled, made others sing and spoke... she did all this inspite of being completely bed ridden. She hadn't been in the hospital for a loooong time. It would have been more than just selfish on our part to have wished for her to live for a little longer because her struggle was a pathetic sight and slowly we had to pray and watch her succumb to fate.She might not be a part of this world physically but o no matter how many years go by she will always occupy a lush, special place in all our hearts. Sweet memories never die.
Love you loads mamima, if i have ever hurt you I'm very sorry. Take care.
Wish I could read this out to you. :|
Friday, May 23, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
hmm...
Hmm... As mom's hands brushed the hair off my cold forehead that night, the warmth from her fingers made me feel like a 2 year old being put to bed after a good meal. A tiny smirk was my only reaction as that beautiful lullaby spread through the room,the dark windy night didn't seem scary no longer. Then it came. Something that I didn't expect,and something that she didn't notice. A glittering tear drop caressed my cheek. The smile remained,the song ended. I didn't sleep for a long time that night,the reason was obvious. I felt like a toddler after ages. A small headache of mine had brought about this uncontrollable urge in my mom's heart to take care of me.Was a special moment.
Mom's are surely small bundles of never ending happiness. That special care and the way they show it,well thats what makes life worth living.
Its really funny how our lives get affected by so many people,so far yet so near.We wonder and worry about things that happen at some unimaginably distant places but forget to show our concern about things that are happening in front of our eyes.
I am not that type of a person who believes in fate,and if given a chance I'd like to lead ma life my way....but it is so uncertain. Why is it that we are unable to even know how OUR lives are gonna be?
well...maybe the only thing certain about life is the uncertainty after all ....
We try to do so much to be happy. We help some people we don't know. We donate. We pray. All this for those who don't even have the slightest clue about our existence. Surely a Very funny creation-MAN!
There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Mom's are surely small bundles of never ending happiness. That special care and the way they show it,well thats what makes life worth living.
Its really funny how our lives get affected by so many people,so far yet so near.We wonder and worry about things that happen at some unimaginably distant places but forget to show our concern about things that are happening in front of our eyes.
I am not that type of a person who believes in fate,and if given a chance I'd like to lead ma life my way....but it is so uncertain. Why is it that we are unable to even know how OUR lives are gonna be?
well...maybe the only thing certain about life is the uncertainty after all ....
We try to do so much to be happy. We help some people we don't know. We donate. We pray. All this for those who don't even have the slightest clue about our existence. Surely a Very funny creation-MAN!
There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Life is Beautiful* **conditions apply
As I continue this endless journey called life i begin to wonder if this is the actual way its supposed to be...well maybe not...!
Its really funny how some people walk into our lives all of a sudden create this HUGE impact...make us feel on cloud nine and then suddenly one day fly away taking away all that joy they brought into our blooming life.... and then there are these few others who have always been a part of our lives have seen us go through every important phase and who have held our hands all these days...but slowly walk away...like as if they have completed their task! But it won't be very hard to accept that Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. they come,they make you happy and they leave.... Hmmm....may be the whole process of growing up is an art of learning to gracefully accept both triumph and disaster with a smile.maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets...
I might be an optimist, a happy go lucky freak.. a fool, an aimless dodo...but i might have given you this impression only because I've been in the search of what i want to do. A better knowledge of my likes and dislikes. I certainly don't believe that the secret of life is to just hang out and get used to whats going on. life is about finding those untraveled lanes...turning every unturned stone...leaping past...discovering a new you and making the best out of everyday.... That would make life worth living. Life is spontaneous and unpredictable, it is umm... magical. We have struggled for many many years to see the world the way it is now. it won't be wrong to accept that we have worked so hard with the tangible that we have completely forgotten the intangible.
It has become such a materialistic world, hasn't it? A busy world, with no time for anyone. When was the last time we spent Quality time with our Small family(sans cell screeching and without any impatient remarks)...?? still digging your gray matter i bet. But oh mention this to any mortal and they always have 'the' reason..."Hey come on, I love my family ok...but i am a busy man...it happens..."(o sooooo cliché...right??)
We all carry so much pain in our tiny hearts. Not all of us express them. Love and pain and beauty. They all seem to go together like a huge tidy confusing package.It is sure a messy business,this life.It's hard to figure,very hard-full of surprises. Some good.Some bad.Some Ugly.
There are a million ways to be happy.He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. A smile is the 1st step to see a more beautiful side of this game. O its not always bout having the right cards unless you know how well to use them because it is very true that life is like a coin,you can spend it the way you want but you can spend it only once. A college degree or a "will" won't be of any use to you if you don't know what you plan to do in life. We were never given an option to choose this thing called life. But we were given a few options on how to plan out our modus operandi...
Friends,family,soul mates... We have no guarantee for anyone's existence. we better speed up and let these ones know how much they matter.Love is the only thing that will remain after everything ceases to exist in this rapidly spinning world. Learning from yesterday,living for today and hoping for tomorrow is 'the' best way,isn't it?
....Sometimes a few questions matter more than answers,the world doesn't owe us anything,nothing when compared to what we owe the world.
Its really funny how some people walk into our lives all of a sudden create this HUGE impact...make us feel on cloud nine and then suddenly one day fly away taking away all that joy they brought into our blooming life.... and then there are these few others who have always been a part of our lives have seen us go through every important phase and who have held our hands all these days...but slowly walk away...like as if they have completed their task! But it won't be very hard to accept that Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. they come,they make you happy and they leave.... Hmmm....may be the whole process of growing up is an art of learning to gracefully accept both triumph and disaster with a smile.maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets...
I might be an optimist, a happy go lucky freak.. a fool, an aimless dodo...but i might have given you this impression only because I've been in the search of what i want to do. A better knowledge of my likes and dislikes. I certainly don't believe that the secret of life is to just hang out and get used to whats going on. life is about finding those untraveled lanes...turning every unturned stone...leaping past...discovering a new you and making the best out of everyday.... That would make life worth living. Life is spontaneous and unpredictable, it is umm... magical. We have struggled for many many years to see the world the way it is now. it won't be wrong to accept that we have worked so hard with the tangible that we have completely forgotten the intangible.
It has become such a materialistic world, hasn't it? A busy world, with no time for anyone. When was the last time we spent Quality time with our Small family(sans cell screeching and without any impatient remarks)...?? still digging your gray matter i bet. But oh mention this to any mortal and they always have 'the' reason..."Hey come on, I love my family ok...but i am a busy man...it happens..."(o sooooo cliché...right??)
We all carry so much pain in our tiny hearts. Not all of us express them. Love and pain and beauty. They all seem to go together like a huge tidy confusing package.It is sure a messy business,this life.It's hard to figure,very hard-full of surprises. Some good.Some bad.Some Ugly.
There are a million ways to be happy.He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. A smile is the 1st step to see a more beautiful side of this game. O its not always bout having the right cards unless you know how well to use them because it is very true that life is like a coin,you can spend it the way you want but you can spend it only once. A college degree or a "will" won't be of any use to you if you don't know what you plan to do in life. We were never given an option to choose this thing called life. But we were given a few options on how to plan out our modus operandi...
Friends,family,soul mates... We have no guarantee for anyone's existence. we better speed up and let these ones know how much they matter.Love is the only thing that will remain after everything ceases to exist in this rapidly spinning world. Learning from yesterday,living for today and hoping for tomorrow is 'the' best way,isn't it?
....Sometimes a few questions matter more than answers,the world doesn't owe us anything,nothing when compared to what we owe the world.
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