"Mom why amn't I crying??' , just as I asked this I realised that maybe tears weren't my way of expressing things. As the ceremony went on I stood there- watchin.. was very different to see that lady who had been a mentor,mother,friend,partner in crime,confidant,well-wisher.. all through my life, just lie there, on the cold floor,motionless. Little did my pea-sized intellect realize then that that would be the last time- the last time we'd all be seeing her. She had made our lives special and we all were all gonna miss her in our own special ways. Frankly I have never lost someone so close- and i still don't know how to react. guess it happened a bit too fast.
definitely inexplicable. She had more information than wikipedia... and was always there,everytime we needed her. Her advice and help is surely something we should all be thankful for. Though i haven't personally visualised it, I've kinna heard a lot about how she struggled and brought up sooo many people. Frankly i donno them,never seen them, just heard soooo much. Sure takes a big heart to help so many. With 3 kids, a pretty hostile hubby, a struggling household , poor health and that unmatchable will power she achieved everything. A person to look up2. Yes that was our very own - mamima.
She had a smile on her face, on the last day. A lovely smile. A 1 o complete satisfaction. She had frankly struggled a lot in the last few days-but o the whole world came 2 see her,well almost. I still feel those angelic hands feeding me, that soft voice calling me from somewhere... Her stories,songs,beliefs,jokes,ideas.... - all those that she shared with us will always be there, deep inside our hearts.
The house seems emptier and I feel lonelier than ever.We had a bond. A bond that made all differences small. The no. of tv shows,movies, and songs we enjoyed. wow... Even during those last few days she never forgot anything, and that is 1 of the happiest sides of the die. She prayed, chuckled, made others sing and spoke... she did all this inspite of being completely bed ridden. She hadn't been in the hospital for a loooong time. It would have been more than just selfish on our part to have wished for her to live for a little longer because her struggle was a pathetic sight and slowly we had to pray and watch her succumb to fate.She might not be a part of this world physically but o no matter how many years go by she will always occupy a lush, special place in all our hearts. Sweet memories never die.
Love you loads mamima, if i have ever hurt you I'm very sorry. Take care.
Wish I could read this out to you. :|
