cricomanic!

I was waiting for a call from maddy(my bro).. it'd been a real long day and i had so much to talk about.. it finally rang.. i ran to pick it up- any wild guess as to what he asked first??
hey cho2 channel 26 or 60.. wads the score? who's batting? im on my way bak home from dinner!! At times i wonder- is this all that he worries about? What is the craze all about? what is so awesome about the game? How come inspite of having such a fanatic at home i never loved it that much, ouch!

Maddy is like this walking cricket statistics dvd! all u gotta do is sit with him and woooof off to go to the world of cricket- test cricket.. the actual cricket, those 5 glorious days, how it started.. wads the story behind the ashes.. how Sir Issac Alexander Vivian Richards is the greatest ever batsman or even how hyped the 20-20's are.what is bradman's last match's score? some law of averages.. lakshman's 281(i hope i'm right).. and so on..
Maddy has something to say about it all.. even His blogs are filled with cricket stuff..!

He once even told my mom, mamma if my wedding is on the world cup finals will i be allowed to postpone it? the wedding ofcoursE! my mom is still a little shocked, but ya we love this lunatic and have started accepting his randomness! And this.. mom when i find THE girl i'm gonna make sure she loves cricket!! poor thing. :P

I finally thought wads the big deal.. Seems like a simple game. 11 guys in a team..2 teams.. lakhs of crazy people around an umpire, fairly normal rules.. swing, square cut,cover drive, duckworth-lewis,lbw,slip... ya i kinna knew all this. So this time when maddy was giving cricInfo a serious thought i thought it'd be the right time for me to show him that i wasn't that bad after all.. If he could make my best frnd pri cric crazy then I shudn be too tough!! :D

one late saturday night Maddy and i had a random cricket quiz before which he gave me a gist of the rules of the game. I obviously thought he started that to make me look like an ass! So i gave it all i could and got a 7 on 10!! yes.. a SEVEN! He was shocked.. arre motu how do u know so much man? i swear i didn't see that coming.

Hehe.. it is like this.. when you are in france you don've too many options.. You will end up learning french! :D

The game is fun no doubt.. the fans, the style, the men!
Maddy has a preconceived notion that women can never be better than men at two things-
1.Driving
2.Cricket

I have hereby decided to prove him wrong! :D
you are so gonna take back ur words bro!

what was the score again? was it sri lanks playing? :P

P.S. Girls don't watch or like sports just for rugged sweaty hot men! There are a few of us who are truly interested!

too fast.. its making me too furious!!!

I wanna jump onto that bajaj chetak and be dropped to school again! I wanna wear just anything and be able to run out of my house. I wanna lick ice cream off my nose t-shirt and smear maddy's face with some and get into a silly fight :D

I miss all this and more..have I become old and boring at 18?? damn!! I wish I could just be 7 o even younger, be stupid, irritate people and get a lovely smile in return, play really dumb pranks and laugh when old people yelled at me :)
good old days.. the best times!!!

No one has the time or the patience to even scold me now. haha! I remember hiding on the day o my report card or pulling it out of my bag 5 mins before the school bus came. I was 1 o the naughtiest specimen's according to most of my teachers. hahaha! The way i used to cycle around the block at 12 o 1 in the afternoon.. dirty my clothes ,find new ways to torture people, make my gran chase me, have wounded knees and messy hair :) :P

Now life is all about, o my god I wanna look perfect! people myt consider me as a wanna-be if i try too hard though. or a fashion disaster?? right amount of make up. perfect hair. sunscreen. kajal. lip gloss.
Aaah such a plastic girly life. I wanna wear stupid torn shorts, a lil blue speg, a pink hair band tiny pretty chappli and run all around the block!! forget all my worries..scream like a maniac.. hit all my stupid friends.. play and come back.. hog and sleep on ma mom's lap!! i really want to do that :)

So what are we chasing? Money, Fame..?? love?? World peace?? life is like some electric train. But atleast these trains stop for a minute or two in between.
classes,studies,ambition,books,concepts, o my good lord.. I just described my life lately.
I haven't even spoken to papa properly in a year odd. I am afraid that moving so fast in this lane called life is not proving very advantageous!

A nice sunday. Get up at 7ish run to CTR have breaky with my best friend or have awesome brunch with ma family.. talk about my hectic week ahead. laugh. play. irritate. discuss some problems. seek advice. siesta. loaaads o tv. a movie. some nice reading. family friends relatives.

A typical sunday. get up at 5. rush to class. sit there till 2. get back home totally bummed out and hungry. hog. sleep til 5. try to watch tv, get yelled at by mom and study. dinner at 9. sleep at 11!

I really wanna jump off this train, take a literal big break!! Pack my bags suddenly on a friday evening and drive to some lovely place out o this busy city!! :)
any volunteers??

:)

school n a bit more..

Hahaha.. never thought I would be writing about those days! Frankly, I didn't like them too much.. Never got the attention i always wanted. Same old monotonous schedule. Get up at 6, wash up ,scoot,school-on til 3.30 and thn the happiest 45 mins of my day.. yes!! runnnn back home baby.. :) the whole big school bus gang(jo peechi shef kiran rahul sneha giju n moi) would run to catch a god damn crowded 401B bus. Yell laugh fight and get Giju (ya the same ol ass) beaten up!! Then get back home and... and... ROT!! play or meet people till 6, report home and start my homework(yiekkz) study(hmm..) and then Tv at 9 crash at 10.30 and just hope that 6 a.m. would never come! :P

I was in national public school till my 10th grade. That school was changing me without my knowledge! people see me VERY differently now. I am not quite sure if I like it though! :P o good lord whom am i kiddin I love the way I am. Everyday in school I was learning somethin new and important and weird people taught me the best things. Some small lessons were indeed very valuable, esp. relationship ones!! My group was a lil girl gang, the typical sorts! O I wasn't the all A-grades only sorda person but i sure had a blast. 10th grade came too soon. And me being soooo me never realised why people were crying and hugging around.. hmm.. so wad? big deal? everyone goes through this!! but I guess I realise why.. ya.. it is true.. nothing remains the same after you walk out of that campus! even the watchman moves on! I went back to that place just once out of my own will. 4 years in NPS was good. My friends at least the leftovers :P were and still are really precious.

What have I actually learnt in Nps!! after paying around 30K a year, I learnt what friendship meant, how to help others, all about self respect, honesty, hatred, naughty,love, but most of all i learnt to be happy. The moment I entered college and got those "Must be some chik wit attitude" looks, I could do nothing but freak out :

I,over the 3 years of my college-ing which ahem.. isn't worth mentioning.. did have fun!More like a nice and new experience.. I met soooo many new ppl.. The way they were, their behaviour, lifestyle.. everything! was just different! it has been really tough to fit in! I am still trying.. did meet a few great people.. kaavya n vishnu.. they were 2 big reasons for me to feel better in that battlefield :)

In a few months from now, I am going to leap! Career type leap. I am so confused about what I want from my life but I am sure excited to see what'll b coming my way!

IMMORTAL.

"Mom why amn't I crying??' , just as I asked this I realised that maybe tears weren't my way of expressing things. As the ceremony went on I stood there- watchin.. was very different to see that lady who had been a mentor,mother,friend,partner in crime,confidant,well-wisher.. all through my life, just lie there, on the cold floor,motionless. Little did my pea-sized intellect realize then that that would be the last time- the last time we'd all be seeing her. She had made our lives special and we all were all gonna miss her in our own special ways. Frankly I have never lost someone so close- and i still don't know how to react. guess it happened a bit too fast.
definitely inexplicable. She had more information than wikipedia... and was always there,everytime we needed her. Her advice and help is surely something we should all be thankful for. Though i haven't personally visualised it, I've kinna heard a lot about how she struggled and brought up sooo many people. Frankly i donno them,never seen them, just heard soooo much. Sure takes a big heart to help so many. With 3 kids, a pretty hostile hubby, a struggling household , poor health and that unmatchable will power she achieved everything. A person to look up2. Yes that was our very own - mamima.

She had a smile on her face, on the last day. A lovely smile. A 1 o complete satisfaction. She had frankly struggled a lot in the last few days-but o the whole world came 2 see her,well almost. I still feel those angelic hands feeding me, that soft voice calling me from somewhere... Her stories,songs,beliefs,jokes,ideas.... - all those that she shared with us will always be there, deep inside our hearts.
The house seems emptier and I feel lonelier than ever.We had a bond. A bond that made all differences small. The no. of tv shows,movies, and songs we enjoyed. wow... Even during those last few days she never forgot anything, and that is 1 of the happiest sides of the die. She prayed, chuckled, made others sing and spoke... she did all this inspite of being completely bed ridden. She hadn't been in the hospital for a loooong time. It would have been more than just selfish on our part to have wished for her to live for a little longer because her struggle was a pathetic sight and slowly we had to pray and watch her succumb to fate.She might not be a part of this world physically but o no matter how many years go by she will always occupy a lush, special place in all our hearts. Sweet memories never die.
Love you loads mamima, if i have ever hurt you I'm very sorry. Take care.

Wish I could read this out to you. :|

hmm...

Hmm... As mom's hands brushed the hair off my cold forehead that night, the warmth from her fingers made me feel like a 2 year old being put to bed after a good meal. A tiny smirk was my only reaction as that beautiful lullaby spread through the room,the dark windy night didn't seem scary no longer. Then it came. Something that I didn't expect,and something that she didn't notice. A glittering tear drop caressed my cheek. The smile remained,the song ended. I didn't sleep for a long time that night,the reason was obvious. I felt like a toddler after ages. A small headache of mine had brought about this uncontrollable urge in my mom's heart to take care of me.Was a special moment.
Mom's are surely small bundles of never ending happiness. That special care and the way they show it,well thats what makes life worth living.
Its really funny how our lives get affected by so many people,so far yet so near.We wonder and worry about things that happen at some unimaginably distant places but forget to show our concern about things that are happening in front of our eyes.
I am not that type of a person who believes in fate,and if given a chance I'd like to lead ma life my way....but it is so uncertain. Why is it that we are unable to even know how OUR lives are gonna be?
well...maybe the only thing certain about life is the uncertainty after all ....
We try to do so much to be happy. We help some people we don't know. We donate. We pray. All this for those who don't even have the slightest clue about our existence. Surely a Very funny creation-MAN!


There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Life is Beautiful* **conditions apply

As I continue this endless journey called life i begin to wonder if this is the actual way its supposed to be...well maybe not...!
Its really funny how some people walk into our lives all of a sudden create this HUGE impact...make us feel on cloud nine and then suddenly one day fly away taking away all that joy they brought into our blooming life.... and then there are these few others who have always been a part of our lives have seen us go through every important phase and who have held our hands all these days...but slowly walk away...like as if they have completed their task! But it won't be very hard to accept that Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. they come,they make you happy and they leave.... Hmmm....may be the whole process of growing up is an art of learning to gracefully accept both triumph and disaster with a smile.maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets...
I might be an optimist, a happy go lucky freak.. a fool, an aimless dodo...but i might have given you this impression only because I've been in the search of what i want to do. A better knowledge of my likes and dislikes. I certainly don't believe that the secret of life is to just hang out and get used to whats going on. life is about finding those untraveled lanes...turning every unturned stone...leaping past...discovering a new you and making the best out of everyday.... That would make life worth living. Life is spontaneous and unpredictable, it is umm... magical. We have struggled for many many years to see the world the way it is now. it won't be wrong to accept that we have worked so hard with the tangible that we have completely forgotten the intangible.
It has become such a materialistic world, hasn't it? A busy world, with no time for anyone. When was the last time we spent Quality time with our Small family(sans cell screeching and without any impatient remarks)...?? still digging your gray matter i bet. But oh mention this to any mortal and they always have 'the' reason..."Hey come on, I love my family ok...but i am a busy man...it happens..."(o sooooo cliché...right??)
We all carry so much pain in our tiny hearts. Not all of us express them. Love and pain and beauty. They all seem to go together like a huge tidy confusing package.It is sure a messy business,this life.It's hard to figure,very hard-full of surprises. Some good.Some bad.Some Ugly.
There are a million ways to be happy.He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. A smile is the 1st step to see a more beautiful side of this game. O its not always bout having the right cards unless you know how well to use them because it is very true that life is like a coin,you can spend it the way you want but you can spend it only once. A college degree or a "will" won't be of any use to you if you don't know what you plan to do in life. We were never given an option to choose this thing called life. But we were given a few options on how to plan out our modus operandi...
Friends,family,soul mates... We have no guarantee for anyone's existence. we better speed up and let these ones know how much they matter.Love is the only thing that will remain after everything ceases to exist in this rapidly spinning world. Learning from yesterday,living for today and hoping for tomorrow is 'the' best way,isn't it?
....Sometimes a few questions matter more than answers,the world doesn't owe us anything,nothing when compared to what we owe the world.

december 2005 !!!!

“History still feels like news for me” now it all seems like the long past , but the December of 2005 will remain the month I cried the most. I'd never expected life to change so much. I always knew that everything wouldn't necessarily happen the way I wanted it to but this was a very complicated moment, everything came crashing down... a moment of confused emotions.
My brother had got into a university in the states to complete his M.S. and my whole family was rejoicing cause all of us knew how demoralised the poor boy had got after he didn't get into any of the I.I.M's .He was happy in his own way and i was confused in my own.

Being 7 years older than me.. maddy a.k.a madhu was everything to me. EVERYTHING. My brother, philosopher, jester, dictionary, favorite source of entertainment and most of all my biggest asset....!!! The only thought that was running in my mind as soon as he received his " I - 20" ,was "oh my god..he's going to leave...very very soon...whom am i going to play with, whom am i going to irritate, whom am I going to fight with, whom am i going pamper, whom am i going to LOVE soooo much??? "All these silly questions left me a little worried but it would have been more than just selfish if i had shown all these feelings then. The tears never seemed to roll down , cause I could see a very bright future for this boy on that crystal ball that I always imagined..

Mommy's boy, o' ya that he sure was..!! They were BEST friends and never had the normal son and mom relationship and i loved it!! Phone calls came from all over....all happy and overjoyed about my pillow fight opponent's next BIG step. He never spoke out his feelings, but I knew it all. Anyone who'd looked into his eyes for more than a minute would've been able to read his mind in a jiffy. His eyes showed all the pain, curbed tears, sadness but most of all the happiness. “Family and Future " two words that mattered the most to him then, he had to choose and all of us were extremely supportive and respected every decision of his.

Though not rebellious like his sibling, Maddy proved it to all of us that he was extremely determined. None of us knew how life would be after he left, neither his nor ours, he had NEVER been on his own. We all felt the agony of a mom when her teenage daughter was out on her first date... ' the worried eyes and the over strained minds' found immense pleasure to gather and chat through the nights-about his past, his present and most importantly his FUTURE.
Then the day arrived, the cab waited outside. All of us began to gear up (at 2 a.m).My mom had made up her mind not to cry at THE moment , and my dad surely wasn't the type who'd cry his heart out , and I , I wanted to break down and drown the planet but i looked at everyone else and realised that they needed me to be strong then and i tried my level best. I never looked into maddy's eyes for too long , the fear was being overcome by the curiosity in my confidant's eyes and i kind of began to persuade my mom to cool down and be normal with her 'cub' who was going hunting on his own for the first time. He himself seemed a little too confused to express his feelings, at least this bit i surely knew-he wanted to cry but he knew that he just shouldn’t. He had finished giving new strokes in his painting called life and the incomplete portrait left all of us confused. How was it all going to turn out to be?? None of us knew, not even the painter himself...!!!

At the airport- I didn't want to show that I was depressed. I was trying to concentrate more on the commotion at the airport. All those precious moments were coming back into my mind, and as I rest my heavy head on my mom's shoulders I began to run down memory lane!!!
Maddy had enough advice to give but not enough time!! Words weren't a part of the few hours we spent there; our eyes did all the talking. Mom tried to act a little pre-occupied..."have you taken everything, be careful, and don’t go out in the nights. Sleep well....do this, do that...." hadn't we heard all this a 1000 Times but none of us bothered to stop her and definitely not her pet. He kept hugging each of us." NO TEARS" i kept reminding myself. All were happy to see that AT LEAST i was that strong!!! We were the only ones who were allowed to go till all his baggage was checked in. "You aren't going to see him for another year or so, your not going to be able to talk to anyone so freely, there’ll be no one to fight with " ,my broken little heart kept telling me but my strong mind only replied," All that happens , happens for good" .Maddy was all set-with a slight upward twitch on his lips, which I’m afraid I can't call it a whole hearted smile. He walked past us, came back, hugged us and then walked in that queue, kept turning back at every possible opportunity, smiling and waving but now all set!!! The three of us (mom ,dad and i) gave each other a contented and pleased look. Life was going to take a new step. He was learning how to swim in a river which meandered so much. Life flipped a 180 after that day.
New year was the first occasion that made me miss him so much., my birthday being the next one. I cried when I was alone. When I needed someone to talk to, someone to rag, someone to fight with or simply when I MISSED him. Mom and I were close but I didn’t no if I could talk to her about this.” She is the one who misses him the most" I knew that. I became very quiet, more rebellious and irritable and I lost my temper no matter where I was or whom I was with, wasn't there anyone who could understand me??? Then came my 10th boards (something I really don't want to talk about).... went fine, without my tutor though but when my results came. I broke down; had all my emotions shown in my results? All my curbed tears came rolling down and I couldn't think of anything more than hating myself even more.

He wasn't there when I needed him the most, then he called. I told him everything that'd happened. I knew I had hurt him a lot; the guilt was tearing me apart. Then the words of love came from a distance that I could not comprehend, he made me feel that it wasn't the end of everything" The sermonising side of my brother which I generally never liked was THE only thing that made me get back to normal. Then a few months flew and college began and life was the same old boring and monotonous journey with a few unforgettable incidents here and there and with loads of new people walking into my life. I learnt to be more independent and so did everyone else. Life moved on....just moved on...though emotion deficient.

All of us were happy to see him adjusting. He had learnt to live on his own. It was like the happiness a mom felt when her toddler stood up and walked for the 1st time, the excitement and the adventure seemed to be doing him a lot of good..

We're all beginning to get back to normal, yet he is always a part of EVERY conversation and no day ends without talking about the person we all love the most!!! It’s been more than a year and loads of things have changed but this seems to be like a fresh leaf in a best-seller. Sometimes i feel -" things are never going to be the same again" but something keeps telling me “you never know...life might just get better...."